


Hello Dean

by meupclose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, the last line of this will give you goosebumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 23:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meupclose/pseuds/meupclose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge: Write a ficlet only using canon character dialog from the show. Two parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human!Cas writes his goodbye letter to Dean.

Hello Dean,

I know I can't run anymore. I'm the one who broke it. There was a time when I thought I could lead our people, but I was mistaken. I spilled so much blood. I am the one who caused these problems. I should be the one to fix them. I didn't wanna be saved. When I see what heaven's become, what I … what I made of it, I'm afraid I might kill myself. And at best, I die trying to fix my own stupid mistake. Or… I don't die – I'm brought back again. Ah, I see now. It's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time. Hiding. Lying. Sweeping away evidence. My motives used to be so pure. I'm not good luck, Dean. I deserved to die!

Flee or die. Flee or die.

I don't feel like a bad person. I'm a soldier. We aren't machines for them to program and reprogram. That wasn't what this was meant to be….I-I don't..fight anymore. I'm sorry. Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul? I need help. You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will…I am nothing like you, Dean. I didn't get that. What I used to be, I'm just me.

I'll just, maybe one day.

I'll die first. Yes. I just thought I'd sit here quietly. I'll just-It's starting, a painful burning sensation. _I lost everything for nothing._

It doesn't matter. I don't have much time. I think I'm starting to feel something.

Don't worry, I'm so sorry, Dean.

Castiel


	2. Cas, Buddy, I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After reading the goodbye letter, Dean runs to find Castiel in his bed holding his stomach in pain. Only Dean's dialog as he tries to get him into the impala.

Cas, what' s wrong? you okay? What're you doing?

Oh God, I'm sorry…You wanna give me a little help here? Look I don't need to feel like hell for failing, for failing you like I have failed every other god forsaken thing I care about. Call it personal experience, but nobody gets that angry unless they're talkin' about their own family. Sweetheart, we are weeks past help. I get it. But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call.

Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? So you know the truth about whats really going on out there, and this is what you choose to do with it? Listen to me… you don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is: you're family.

Honestly? What I do know is, that this, here? I need you…And I have every reason in the world to believe that. You're going to be just fine.

Whoa, wait a moment! Just hold on. Hold on. I need you to see that. I'm begging you. I'm not kidding. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just -I shouldn't have called you an idiot. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason. Just random, horrible, evil. Hey. Listen. So you…get a ruffle in your feathers and just decide to disappear. It's not too late. Dammit Cas we can fix this!

You don't know everything…How long is this gonna go on? I want you to have a life. That is my perfect ending and it's the only one I'm gonna get. You see a light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. You had a choice. You just made the wrong one. We're working on the power of love. We gonna spend it wringing our hands?

Something's going to get us, eventually. Blanket apology for all the crap that anybody's done, all the way around. Well, clean slate. Come on man. Cas, I prayed to you Cas, every night. You know and you didn't…What the hell's wrong with you. You can. We'll figure it out, Cas. Buddy, I need you.

What do you mean never recovered?

Cas this isn't you. This isn't you. Cas, Cas please. I know you can hear me. Cas, its me, your family. I need you. I need you. Cas, no, Cas. I'm not gonna quit. That's not even an option.

Cas dammit come on! Come on. I got you hold on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o.O what have I done


End file.
